Smart Ass III

After long long time I am finally putting out the smart ass III.
This time we will talk it as serious issue and how smart ass can be related to marketing.

According to Bakhtim (I forgot the first name), there are two laughter.
1--called Productive Laughter: Yes/No type. Using the logic to prove the point and make new meaning during laugh.
2--called Destractive Layghter: Using it agnst the rule and make point.

No matter which, it can all be used in marketing.

There are few points for smart ass starter:

1, Twist or paradox. This is like KUSO (Japanese). Use all the smartest way to do the most stupid thing. Like how to make the prettest shit from ur own ass. It can lead customers into the area where they want to see how bad is it gonna be.

2, Contrast. Do you remember the HK guy in American Idol. I think his name is William Con. He is the best case for this. After the worst proform in the history he said "I have tried my best". What can it do more to make everyone remember him?

3, Take the self area to public. Everyone likes to see others' private area. That's how we do to all these stars.

4, Observation. You see more u have more to point out.

5, Norm or standard. Make a new standard before others or stay norm. When computer first start 20 years no one knows it will be like now. Email is a joke by then. Make new point is never a bad thing for smart ass.

I was reading a news about how to sell stuff and this jumps out in my mind so i decided to write something about it.
Hope u won't beat me up for not funny on this one.

Nice one...........

敬啟者，您好：去年我把「男友5.0版」升級到「老公1.0版」之後，發現系統的整體效能變差了，尤其是「送花」及「珠寶」功能，這兩個功能本來在「男友5.0」一點問題都沒有。除此之外，「老公1.0」也把原來好用的軟體殺掉了，例「羅漫蒂克9.5」及「關懷6.5 」，取而代之的是「世界杯足球賽5.0」、「世界杯籃球賽3.0」和「高爾夫俱樂部4.1」。「談心8.0」也無法執行，還有，每當我要執行「打掃屋子 2.6 」，整個系統就當機， 我試著用「嘮叨 5.3」，但都沒辦法解決。請問我該怎麼辦？

心急人
*****************************************

親愛的「心急人」 首先要提醒您的是，「男友5.0」是娛樂軟體套件，而「老公1.0」是作業系統。您可以在流覽器上方的網址列輸入：http:我以為你愛我.htm ，試著下載「流淚6.2 」，也別忘了下載「罪惡感3.0」的更新檔案。如果上述軟體可以執行的話，那麼「老公1.0」應該就會自動執行「珠寶2.0」和「送花3.5 」了。但要注意的是，過度使用上述功能，會造成「老公 1.0」自動執行「發脾氣 2.5」、「流連酒吧 7.0」和「啤酒6.1」。「啤酒 6.1」是個很不好用的軟體，它會自動上網去下載一個叫做「鼾聲如雷」的測試版。還有，無論如何，千萬別安裝「婆婆1.0 」（它是一種病毒，發作時會佔用妳的作業系統全部資源）
另外，不要嘗試重新安裝「男友5.0」，我們並不支援這套軟體， 同時它和「老公1.0 」不相容，會造成不可預期的錯誤訊息。總結來說，「老公1.0 」是個非常棒的軟體，但受到記憶體的限制，它無法在短時內學習新的功能。
您或許可以考慮購買另外一套外掛程式，以增加記憶體和增進系統效能。我們建議「美食3.0 」或「性感內衣7.7」.
祝好運
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Life Backwards

Life Backwards

I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get k icked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.



I rest my case.